Daniel
Ta-da.
Look, isn't he adorable?
Sensei, when did you have a baby?
C-Congratulations.
No, no.
This is my friend's baby.
I actually used to go to this school, you know.
Really? I never knew.
Were the uniforms the same back in your day?
They were.
So my friend was in the pro wrestling circle, and she came to say hi,
so I'm taking care of her baby in the meantime.
She should have brought him.
Wouldn't the current members appreciate it?
She said it might be too stimulating for the baby.
Hey, Sensei, I want to try holding him.
Are you used to taking care of babies, Honda-san?
I used to hold my brother.
Really? Okay.
He smells so good!
The aroma of a mother's milk and pee, oh my!
I feel like I'm going to get high.
Are you sure there isn't a better way to say that?
What's the problem? The baby's happy, too.
Higuchi-sensei, please come to the staff office immediately.
Oh, dear, what should I do?
We'll watch the baby. You go ahead.
But...
Hanako does seem used to it.
I'm a bit worried, though.
I guess I could take him to my friend before I go to the staff office.
He doesn't like it, Sensei.
You're right.
I'll be right back. Please take care of him.
Sure.
Why is he crying all of a sudden?!
I don't know. He was happy until just a moment ago.
He's grabbing Kasumi-san's necktie!
He wants you to hold him!
O-Okay, over here.
He stopped crying.
You like Kasumi? What an old geezer.
He's squeezing your boobs!
Well, he's a baby.
S-Sorry, I don't have any plans for producing milk yet.
This kid's pretending to want milk, but look at his face,
he totally just wants to play with your boobies!
You pervy brat!
Disgusting!
A baby's not going to be thinking like that.
No, this one is!
Okay, why don't you try holding him, then?
He smells so good!
Flat.
He talked!
And I feel like he just insulted me!
No way, he couldn't have.
He's a baby.
Hey, I want to hold him, too.
Here.
He's so cute!
So pudgy!
Spicy!
What?!
He definitely spoke just now!
Those were vicious words, too!
W-Well, I mean, he's a baby.
Here.
That's not reassuring when you say it shaking.
Why don't we put him down somewhere?
Yeah, I have a bad feeling about holding him for too long.
He's like...
He seems kind of cocky, don't you think?
Maybe he's not holding his head up.
Is it safe to put him on a chair when his head's not being held up?
There's something menacing about him.
Maybe he wants something to suckle on.
Oh yeah, there was a bag full of baby stuff on Sensei's desk.
I wonder if she has something.
Pacifier!
Why don't you give that to the baby?
Here you go.
He's so cute!
He's really just a baby.
Dude, this kid's a mafia don!
This kid's weird!
Do you think he might have memories from his past life?
N-No way.
He's a baby, after all.
I'm sick of hearing that!
I think he's hot.
Oh, yeah.
Ta-da.
Mini fan.
I snuck it in from home.
Let's turn it on and cool him off.
How's that? Nice and cool?
He's liking it.
Hey, what else is in this bag?
Wait, I want to see.
Huh? What's this white powder?
Cold medicine or something, maybe?
Are babies supposed to take antibiotics and stuff?
It says something on it.
You there, baby, what are you doing?!
It's pulling me in!
Wait, Hanako-san, don't go that way!
Kasumi-san, the switch!
Press the stop button!
O-Okay!
Um, the baby's playing on top of the switch with a giant smile.
Just move that creature out of the way!
Help me!
Hanako!
He's legit trying to kill me!
Stay back, it's dangerous.
Press the stop button before you hold that damn flesh blob!
H-Hold on, my hands are full.
Are you mental?!
It's over...
I'm safe?
Kasumi's leg!
You tugged on the cable.
Oh, you're right.
You could have done that sooner.
Sorry, guys, was everything okay?
Oh, good, he's happy.
Sorry for the trouble, everyone.
It's fine.
Hm? You like the ladies?
He doesn't usually like anyone besides me.
Oh, really?
I'm absolutely honored.
Yay, I'm so happy.
Oh
yay.
Oh
boy.
I
found
my
self
a
brand
new
toy.
Look at him giggle.
He's so happy.
Is it just me, or was he saying something?
Asobi Asobase
Bra Meeting
It was so hot.
Why do we need to get hit by freak weather on PE day?
I know, it's so sweaty and gross.
My sports bra is all sticky, too.
Take it off.
Are you serious?
They'll sag if I do.
They aren't big enough to sag. Don't worry.
How would you kn—
Kasumi-shan...
What is it?
Y-Your bra-sama is f-f-fantastic.
Th-Th-This was the only style I could find in my size.
"This was the only style I could find in my size"?
Say what?
Here we go again.
That's the kind of excuse boys make when they say their moms
would only buy them certain trunks.
Huh? What kind of analogy is that?
I don't get it at all.
I should get changed fast.
I swear, it's true!
I'd want to choose from more designs if I could, too!
You'd never know what it feels like to be a have-not, Kasumi-san.
N-No, well...
I always wonder how much fun it would be
to choose from lots of different designs like you can, Hanako-san.
There are more cute designs for smaller bras.
Tell me more!
Put your clothes on, Hanako.
And then what happened?
Pastimers Club
I've only ever worn sports bras until now.
It's finally time to make my real bra debut!
So what kind of bra are you wearing, Olivia?
Want to see?
You climb the stairs to adulthood...
...but...
...you're still a Cinderella.
Uh...
Okay, here's a bra website, then.
Sure, I shall take a look.
New
Cleavage - Wire Free Premium
There's more to them than a lot of outfits, right?
I know.
Lace is so delicate.
Some of them even have shape memory.
It's the future.
This one's cute!
Can I click on it?
Wait, before that, you should probably measure your bust size.
I always buy small sports bras.
Bras are more specific.
You need to measure in centimeters.
I secretly measured at night, and it was 74 centimeters.
I'll click A 75.
Wait, wait.
Which 74 centimeters is that 74 centimeters?
My breasts.
Oh, we need to measure your band size.
What do you mean "band size"?
The A 75 means 75 centimeters band.
It looks something like this.
Bust Band
The ratio between the top and under determines your cup size.
Is that math?
It's not math.
Wait, that's so complicated.
No, it's fine.
It's easy if you measure it out.
I'm going to measure from over your bra.
Huh?
Come to think of it...
I have a marshmallow body measuring bust 85, waist 60, hip 88.
Bust 85...
That's a C cup.
How do you know that?
An 85 is about this big.
The left hand just sits there.
Could you please stop with the hand motions?!
It's an assessment based on a big data dataset.
An 85 is a C.
I-I see.
Then what about a bust 96?
Bust 96, you say?
Please don't come joining in, Grandpa.
Bust 96 should be...
Something like this, which makes it an F cup.
Seriously, stop it with the hands!
Jackie was making the same motions in Shaolin Wooden Men.
No he wasn't!
I never saw that!
Wait, so what was that?
Hey, I'm done measuring.
How was it?
Let's see, you have a band size of 68 and a bust of 75.
Bust 75?!
I grew a centimeter!
Congrats!
Does that mean I have a B cup?
Am I climbing the B ladder?
Let's see...
Oh, you're an AA cup.
Wait, maybe I'm an AA between an A and B, right?
Yay!
Uh, I have to go to the bathroom.
Don't run away, Kasumi.
You have to tell her the truth.
It's smaller than an A.
I had a feeling.
Why?
Did I do something wrong?
You did nothing wrong.
Why then has God reduced my size so?!
Hanako...
Olivia...
Maybe you were imagining things when you thought you were an A.
Like one of those people who thinks they're a wizard
because they're receiving some kind of signal from the sky.
Hanako-san!
Let me go!
I'm going to enroll at the boys' school!
Calm down!
Give me your flesh!
Hanako?!
All right, here goes the suction!
Liposuction of the breasts!
Hanako's broken!
Wh-What's wrong?
I choked...
Stuff came out.
What stuff?
I think I've angered the boob gods.
I'm sorry, please don't take any more boob away from me.
Hanako-san, it's okay.
On behalf of the boob gods, I forgive you.
I...
I ask for the graces of the boob gods.
I don't know how they're managing to hold a conversation,
but what's this "boob god" that came out of nowhere?
Asobi Asobase
Fairy Tale Battle Royale
Damn it!
Take this, damn it!
What're you doing, Olivia?
This game that was developed in my country is popular in Japan right now.
It must be a weird one, then.
Ouch, but it's so cute.
Let's play together!
Fairy Tale Hell
Fairy Tale Hell.
What the? It's so cute!
Oh, yeah.
It looks fun.
Let's play it together, then.
I've been playing solo all this time, and I've been waiting to play team games.
Yay!
You can download it from the Pineapple Store.
Right.
The Pineapple store. Sure.
Uh...
I have an old school phone.
You can play on PC, too.
You should play on your laptop.
All right, I downloaded it.
Let's start!
Welcome to Fairy Tale Hell!
Select a character.
Name: Kitty-chan
Abilities: Good with hands
Character Select
Select
I'm good with my hands
Name: Doggo-chan
Abilities: Fast runner
I'm a fast runner
Name: Bunny-chan
Abilities: Good jumper
I'm a good jumper
Name: Froggy-san
Abilities: Good vision
I have good vision
Abilities: Strong
Name: Teddy-chan
I'm strong
Name: Fox-chan
Abilities: Awful personality
I have an awful personality
Who are you playing, Olivia?
I'm Bunny-chan.
I'll play Kitty-chan, then.
I'll play Doggo-chan.
Oden | Lollipop | Flowers | Drink Crayon | Cake | Donuts | Candy
Choose an item.
They're all so cute.
What should I choose?
Why are they all sideways?
Oden's useful.
Is it?
I'll go with that, then.
I'll take a lollipop.
Lollipops are good for beginners.
Choose a name for your team.
A team name?
We might as well call it Pastimers Club.
Okay, let's go with Pastimers Club.
Your team name is Pastimers Club.
Is this right?
This'll be fun!
Hey, we already got someone.
Got what?
Team HISHA wants to play with us.
You can play with other teams?
Sure you can.
That's the main part of the game, actually.
Okay, let's accept, then.
Okay.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, start!
The countdown's starting.
Are you ready, guys?
Okay.
I forgot to teach you the rules.
Oh, well, it's simple.
You can learn as you go.
Got it.
Start!
Kasumi-san, where are you?
Over here.
Where's Olivia?
Here.
Why are you hiding there?
I know.
Let's go explore Fairy Land.
No, no.
You have to hide.
Come on, are you being squeamish just because you're playing a bunny?
Stop it!
You need to hide, too, Hanako!
You're dead already.
Wait!
What's up with this game?!
Hurry up, you have to get treatment.
Why am I twitching?
You'll die if you don't eat your lollipop within a minute.
Inventory
You forgot to buy it.
You only have poo.
Somebody help me!
Bah, your character's screwed.
Well, you're dead.
Come on, Kasumi, you have to hide, too.
No way!
This game's too distasteful!
Kasumi!
I'm scared!
Don't run out in the open like that!
I have no clue...
Yay!
Critical hit!
You got to die without suffering!
I'm the only one left.
All three of them on the enemy team are probably alive.
I think they shot at us from this way.
I knew it, they're after me!
The first player to make it to the "Hill of Hope"
gets the special weapon "Anthrax"!
I got a quest.
I don't know...
Let's crawl through the flower fields.
You triggered a flower field landmine. Watch out for flowers with different colors!
I lost!
The enemy team's so good.
All right, let's go for round two!
No, I'm good.
Me, too.
Why? We're just getting started.
I'm traumatized.
I'm going to have nightmares.
Hey, I got a message.
It's from the HISHA people we just played.
"ez. git gud, noobs."
I'll tell them, "It's our first day playing."
It's best to just ignore these messages.
More messages.
"It's too much fun wrecking Fairy Talers in over their heads."
"That first cat was worse than a paramecium."
HISHA says they want to play again. Weird.
Bring it on!
I know how the game works, now.
I'll tear them to shreds!
Okay, buy lots of lollipops.
Donuts work as shields, so let's buy three.
But donuts have holes in the middle... Is that safe?!
All right!
Three, two, one, start!
Start!
Here we go!
Wait, Hanako, what are you shooting at?
Wait, wait, I don't know the controls!
I can't stop!
You aren't hitting anyone!
Wait, I stopped.
Am I out of ammo?
I got hit first again!
Hold on, I'll do something with the candy!
Kasumi, use your scope to find the enemy.
H-How?
That chikuwa fish cake is your scope.
Oh, I see.
I think I saw them from over there.
Oh yeah, there's something there.
But it's so small, I don't know what's what.
You can zoom in with your mouse wheel.
Got it.
Zoom...
Gross!
They've totally ditched short range for long range,
and they have a really good sniper with the pervy Froggy-san!
Thy had the name Pastimers Club, so I thought maybe...
I guess it really was the Pastimers Club.
They're so bad, too.
The president's fingers, though...
She's always impressive to see.
It's been a long time since I've lost my ability to play shogi.
Enomoto, will I ever hold a shogi piece again?
Please...
You'll get better. I believe in you, President.
This is all the Pastimers Club's fault.
Revenge shall be mine.
Time to checkmate and take their King in this world, too.
Yes, President!
I lost again!
Their team is too good.
What to do?
HISHA wants to play again.
Want to play a third game?
I already deleted the app.
I'm good.
Me, too.
Asobi Asobase
Paper Wars
Rules Choose your territories on a large sheet of paper. Draw a princess in the center of each territory, and surround her with weapons (anything goes). If you convince your opponent that they don't stand a chance, you win!
Hanako-sama, I came only to deliver an umbrella.
Is it acceptable that I've joined?
I wanted another player anyway.
Okay, then.
Let's start the game!
What's this?
It's a cannon!
Okay, next.
What's this?
A shield to protect me against the cannon.
It can protect against anything.
I see.
You're starting strong.
Okay, I'm next.
What's that creepy shit?!
Th-This is the most powerful monster.
It can triple the cannon's output.
It can destroy about half of Olivia's shield. Probably.
I'm next.
I-It's a knight.
You're so good at drawing.
Next...
What's this?
I played it already.
Maybe it was too soon.
The strongest creature in the world...
Mister Man!
H-How is he the strongest?
Um...
He's super strong!
He can... petrify? With his eyes.
And so he's going to petrify your knight!
Aw...
All right.
What's this?
A wizard.
He can deflect curses and stuff.
And now Mister Man's petrified!
My most powerful Mister Man's defeated!
Allow me, Hanako-sama.
Seriously, what is that parasite thing?!
But this is the most powerful...
Like...
It's the best at everything.
It's performing the Mister Man recovery ritual.
Yay, Mister Man is back!
What's this?
A speech.
He can appease the enemy and bring him over to my side.
What's this?
Tissue paper handouts, but with earplugs instead!
The speech is disabled by the earplugs!
Give us something good, Olivia-san.
Yeah.
Is that a dinosaur with wings?
It's a dragon!
A dragon!
It defeats the enemy in a single blow.
Damn it!
Allow me, Hanako-sama.
Is that the only thing you can draw?!
It's the most powerful monster...
You already said that!
How do we make this end?